Facing Issues with Your Step Children?
When it comes to childbirth, often mothers find themselves worried, excited, it is like a mixed bag of emotions. However, among the common worries of a new mom, one worry could be in terms of catering to step children along with your children. Let us be honest, this is a common scenario, something that we may come across very easily within our society and surrounding. Given that it is a different equation for many mothers with their children and stepchildren, this article will highlight on some of the common issues a new mom faces.
While for a new mom it is a different experience to hold her child in her arms for the first time, it is equally different for her to cater to her stepchildren too. Many families suffer with divorce and that impact the children to adjust within new settings, especially when they have to adapt with a new parent. It gets a bit cumbersome and complicated for some parents when they have a stepchild dealing with their child.
What to do when the new mom is ignored?
You should understand that initial rejection is a natural reaction and you need to bear with it for a while. Of course, with all the attempts failing and no positive result, all you can do is give them some time. Try to interact with the kids and let them interact back with your newborn. Being there for your stepchildren can help them understand your point of view and lead to some positive developments.
When the children of both parents do not get along?
As a step mom to your husband’s children or vice versa, the best thing you can do is not interfere in it. By doing so, you might make things worse as the stepchildren start to think that you are siding with your off spring. If they are mature enough to sort things out then let them, and the best thing you can do for them is to give time. Simultaneously, look for means and ways to bring the entire family together like weekends, holidays, picnics etc., and leave an option of open conversation on. May be, children need some positive reinforcement to start behaving civil.
Decision Making Clashes
For a stepmother, it is hard to take decisions for their stepchildren. Though there are multiple tips, it is not as easy as tips & tricks on breast-feeding. But, nonetheless, nothing seems impossible as long as you give your best shot to it. If you are faced with a problem where your decisions for your step daughter are not adhered by your husband even if it is good for her, you ought to have it planned out with your husband first. Knowing where you stand, the parameters of decision-making and the idea of being in it together is what will help you establish a better relationship with your stepchildren.
Dealing with Stepchildren and Your Partners Ex
When you have both the child and your partner’s ex to deal with, it may be cumbersome and daunting at times. Especially if your partner’s ex has not accepted your relationship with the father and child. In such a situation, you need to talk it out with the ex and your partner to have some boundaries set. If you are trying to establish a relationship with your step child, such complexities is going to make the process seem difficult and unachievable at times.
Dealing with Comparison
When your stepchildren start comparing you with their mother, you will find it difficult to establish a good rapport because of the defenses the children have developed. In such situation, you can use indirect counseling method to make them understand that you respect their mother just as much and expect the same from them to you.
In some cases there is an evident impact on the relationship but letting it stay the same is going to cause plenty problems. Sometimes it could be lack of experience for the new mother and so lack of adjustment is natural to occur. But, if no attempts are made to make things better, it is bound to cause a sense of damage that is only going to go worse with passing time and is no good for any family member.